For the Chinese, perhaps the most important part of a union between two people is the tea ceremony which makes a significant part of the entire day's festivities.
In the olden days, it symbolises the introduction and acceptance of the bride into the groom's family. In modern times, the tea ceremony is observed at both the groom's and bride's family, because gone are the days when a woman, once married, will then 'belong' to her husband's family.
In the olden days, it symbolises the introduction and acceptance of the bride into the groom's family. In modern times, the tea ceremony is observed at both the groom's and bride's family, because gone are the days when a woman, once married, will then 'belong' to her husband's family.
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| Too bad I ain't got no daughter to pass this on to! |
Traditionally, the tea sets are considered 'heirlooms' and are passed down from generation to generation. It is a part of the bride's 'dowry', and will be used again for her own daughter's ceremony.
Sweet tea is served by the newlyweds to the elders in the family, and it is believed to bring happiness and 'sweeten' the relations between the bride and her new in-laws. A common practice is to place lotus seeds and two red dates in the teapot. The words "lotus" and "year," "seed" and "child," and "date" and "early," are homophones, i.e. they have the same sound but different meanings in Chinese. Secondly, the ancient Chinese believed that putting these items in the tea would help the newlyweds' fertility. We had longans (龙眼) added in as well, because the hubs is born in the 'Dragon' (龙) year.
There is a set order as to how the tea is served to the elders, according to the family hierarchy.
However, there are also families that prefer to serve the grandparents tea before the parents. Within each generation, the father's relatives are served before mother's relatives. In traditional families, the young couple is required to serve tea whilst kneeling down. Most modern family only requires them to bow while serving tea. All women should always be either seated or standing on their man's left.
- parents,
- grandparents,
- grand-uncles and grand-aunties,
- uncles and aunties,
- elder brothers and sisters,
- elder cousins
However, there are also families that prefer to serve the grandparents tea before the parents. Within each generation, the father's relatives are served before mother's relatives. In traditional families, the young couple is required to serve tea whilst kneeling down. Most modern family only requires them to bow while serving tea. All women should always be either seated or standing on their man's left.
The hubs and I chose to kneel while serving tea to our elders as a mark of respect and gratitude, but we didn't do so for the elder brothers, sisters and cousins (who are married). In fact, we were not allowed to kneel while serving tea to family members of the 'same generation' as advised by the old wise ones - because it would only signify submission instead of respect.
In return for offering tea, we received red packets containing cash, cheques and jewellery. Which totally explained the huge smiles on both our faces!
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| The wicked grins were due to the heavy red packets, not because I officially became Mrs. Moo. I know of some brides who insists that everyone call them by their married name even before the celebrations are over! |
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| My side of the family. That's Mum in the main picture with my Uncle. |
There's just something absolutely romantic about observing wedding traditions. It reminds me of bygone eras, and for that one day, we were able to experience the rituals that our parents, grandparents and millions of Chinese couples for hundreds of years have gone through.
A connection to the past, in the present, on the first day of our future.
It doesn't get any better than that.
