'BabyMoo's Mummy'?

Thursday, 26 April 2012

I think I was in danger of losing my identity when BabyMoo came along.

The first time I was called 'BabyMoo's Mummy' at the doctor's clinic when I brought BabyMoo for his 1st week evaluation... I didn't respond. The Staff Nurse had to repeat it 3 x (the last one with his full name and 'Mummy' at the end) before the hubs nudged me and said: "I think she's referring to you."

I cringed inside... and thought to myself while referring BabyMoo as 'my son' ever since we found out his gender at 20 weeks happened naturally, the idea of finally being someone's Mum took a fair bit of getting used to.

I've been called a whole lot of names, all as terms of endearments by my close friends and referred to as a lot of things by those who have a different agenda, but I think  being a 'Mummy' really takes the cake. It's not an unpleasant feeling at all, but I suppose getting used to and being called "Mrs.Moo" runs a close second.

Gradually, this Mummy business took on an entirely new dimension. While I was busy taking care of the wee one and being a mother, I naturally took a back seat as myself. It needed no prompting, nor did anyone pressure me into the nature which women all over the world have undertaken for as far back as civilization has determined. I slipped into that role more easily than I recall ever having to deal with any change in my life... and it made me happy.

My Facebook profile picture was changed to BabyMoo at one day old, one month old, 2 months old... and as and when I felt like it. My status updates reflected musings, questions and thoughts about him. My screen saver revolved with pictures of him. My desktop wallpaper was replaced by the chubster wearing his gummy grin. My mobile's gallery is filled with snapshots of his antics.

One day, an old school friend who have mutual friends between us but is not on my friend's list sent me a message on Facebook.

"I was searching for you! I didn't want to send you a friend request previously because I couldn't be sure that it was you since I couldn't put a face to the name!"

I mean... how many persons are there on FB with my name and family name, right? Last I checked - there was only me, but she had a point. I realised that I was subconsciously revolving my life around the boy in more ways than one. Of course, being the 'worrier' that I am - I began to worry about 'suffocating' him, or worse, attempting to mould his life as to how I would live mine.

I changed the pictures to reflect us as a family. I stopped thinking of places to go simply for the boy's enjoyment - fun can be had by everyone, it just needed more effort to plan. I started to pay attention to myself again, realising that I needed to still preserve who I am, as a person. I also realised that I've been neglecting the husband, and made sure that no long term damage has been done (I don't think he even realised it... cos he was also busy enjoying his son). In short, I took steps to ensure that I didn't forget my name and who I am - in the hullabaloo of celebrating the wonderment of being able to successfully produce this little being who has provided us with so much joy.

I still can't get used to being called 'BabyMoo's Mummy' though. It makes the hairs on the back of my neck prickle, especially when they use it without the apostrophe 's after BabyMoo, which a lot of people are apt to do.

'MummyMoo' - now that I think, is udderly acceptable :)

I am a wife before a mother, and a woman before I was ever a wife. As much as I love the two boys who have given me so much happiness and brought new meaning to my existence, I must never forget the person who has contributed so much to who I am today. I might sometimes need a reminder or two... but I should never, ever forget myself.

14 comments :

  1. This post is udderly well done! :) nice nice! You're you! No matter how many baby Moos you pop out! :)

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    1. I hope so, Pam! I hope to never forget if I have anudder baby to feed! Haha!!

      Eh... btw what's the gender of cow ah?

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  2. That's a super hot photo of Regina in red..whoa...u got me a bit distracted by it for a while, but at the same time, it drove the point of this post across very aptly.

    Thanks for this reminder, that we should never lose our identity as ourselves, and not get lost in those other multiple identities that we have as well. That's why I am for 'vain' moms, hehehe

    On an additional note, I still find that it sounds strange when people address me as my hb's wife, like I don't have a name or identity like tat...and still getting used to be Mrs Ng. I still keep my maiden surname in FB and in many other places online and offline.

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    1. I still am not used to people calling me by my married name. Actually in this day and age - I think a lot of women actually go by their maiden names even after marriage, apart from the "Mr and Mrs" on invites and the likes.

      Mr.Moo isn't used to it as well. Just last weekend we were having tea at Bakerzin while waiting for the bub to wake from his afternoon nap, when we met a friend and her family. He mentioned that he heard her calling: "Mrs.Moo!! Mrs.Moo!!" from afar... and wondered who was calling his Mum! Haha!!

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  3. Ah~ I'm also guilty of this. Just days before I was talking with my hubb about how my life now revolves around my children. Like you I now plan activities for the weekend for my boy's enjoyment. Unlike in the past we will just do impromptu stuff. But we don't deny we enjoyed the time with him since we are both working on weekdays.

    And your post serves as a wake up call to me too! Although I'm still trying to figure out how to have the "me" time and the time with hubby alone. I think its gonna get tougher when my girls grows older and requires even more of our attention. hmmm...

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    1. It's never easy! And sometimes we're just too tired to plan or find out where to go over the weekend. After all, when the kids are happy - we're happy, too.

      That 'we' time is so important. I realised with a start one day that we were in danger of going for days without 'talking' to each other. It's always conversations about the boy, and when he's with us, we're busy entertaining him.

      Must.make.effort.

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  4. Love this post Regina, definitely agree we should never lose ourselves as a person or forget that there are still other people we love besides our precious little ones. Yes that's a super hot picture of you and I hope you will stay so always, not just on the outside but on in the inside as well! You will always be Regina!

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    1. Thanks, Summer!

      I try... perhaps the first few years of the boy's life we are too busy enjoying him, and adjusting to his presence in our lives!

      If I forget - don't talking about being a yummymummy... I'll just be a frumpymummy! :D

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  5. If everything else fails, take on a name of a celebrity whom doesn't even exist, LOL. So much for personal identity! Haha. Nicely written, and I think most mommies are guilty of somewhat losing their identities when they have children. Which really should not be the case, because like you said we are who we are before a wife and a mother.

    And Regina, that pic of you is.............fiery hot pretty!!

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    1. I still can't get used to you having been Ms. Cheong!! Haha!!

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  6. Hi there, I just popped by your blog and was sufficiently tickled and secretly happy. I'm a mrs kao myself so I can totally relate! It's funny how we named our blogs after our hubs' surnames. I guess it wouldn't hurt to laugh at ourselves sometimes. :)

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    1. Hi MotherKao :)

      Thanks for stopping by! I believe we're proud to have unique surnames! After all, how many women can call themselves Mrs. Moo and Mrs. Kao, right?

      (Well... after our in-laws, of course!)

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