A cow hide for MummyMOO.

Thursday, 10 May 2012

I've learnt to be more thick-skinned since I've had the boy.

Apart from the physical changes that unfortunately, has become all too evident since the onset of pregnancy, I've also found myself changing in a number of positive ways.

Prior to being a Mum, I've always been someone who would never think of stepping out of the house looking less than immaculate, perhaps due to growing up in a family of women who take pride in their appearance. I've never owned a pair of slippers, and my slip-ons to match shorts and casual wear were more wedges and respectable enough for a chill out night at a club. 

I am also mindful of my surroundings. I will never dream of attracting unwanted attention to myself by being too loud or too flamboyant, preferring to observe and learn by watching. I chided my friends (who were mums long before I did) about chipped nails, unkempt hair, and flip flops.

I used to wonder about screaming kids accompanied by parents who go about their business like all is well. I pity the kid who was sobbing while his parent scolded him at the top of their voices in public (I still do), threatening abandonment, disowning them, and leaving them at an orphanage. Countless of times back then, I have thought to myself that when I have kids in the future - I will make sure that they are taught manners, and they will not make a scene in public. They will be perfect children out of the pages of a magazine, sweet, smiling, obedient, and polite to a fault.

(minus the blond hair, of course!!)

Now that I'm a Mum - I was brought down to Earth rudely, and all visions of a perfectly groomed woman with a smiling toddler in one hand and a cherubic baby on the other, wearing 6-inch heels and shopping with apparent ease - has disintegrated into thin air.

Between an energetic, heavier and bigger than his age toddler whose favourite past time was doing the back flip and has now progressed to trying to play catching with Mummy, carrying a compact diaper bag and trying to look like I'm shooting the breeze... it's a wonder how I still manage to keep my sanity on days that I decide to be adventurous and take the boy out without DaddyMoo as a punching bag.

I admire Mums who are able to do it with 2 or even 3 kids in tow, and I bow to that lady who came by the restaurant one day for lunch with a pair of twins in the tandem stroller, a jabbering toddler, and 2 sullen older ones. She fed the toddler and twins alternately, made sure the older ones eat their lunch, and managed to have her meal without even raising her voice once. All by herself. I felt exhausted just looking at her... but her love for her kids are all too evident, and I suppose that was what kept her going.

As BabyMoo 'blooms and grows' (I would prefer to remain positive amidst all his toddler boy antics which can make me tear my hair out in a heart beat) the hubs and I have adapted our lifestyles around him as far as possible. We try to provide him with a happy environment, and we try to educate him as much as we can, through words, actions and examples. We take him to places to expose him to the world around him, and we introduce him to life according to what we have experienced, as well, hoping that he will take life's easier route by being street smart and savvy.

It's definitely not an easy task.

As angelic as we would prefer him to be, he is, after all - a little boy who has his own set of personalities, and for the time being, is yet learning to distinguish between right and wrong. He gets confused, most days he thinks his name is 'No-No'... while on other days, these big people call him by another name. He gets frustrated. He yells at the top of his voice, not caring if there are other people who may look at his parents and wonder if we're candidates for child abuse. Whilst he is still unable to give voice to his feelings and wants, he feels misunderstood. He is suddenly able to explore on his own... sockets, drawers, and wires have their hypnotic appeal.

So now I have learnt to do the scoop up, chin up, get the hell out of there looking as nonchalant as possible - when he starts to rival a jet plane and no amount of words is able to calm him down. After the initial awkward times, it does get easier, although if you observe carefully, you can always tell who are parents and who have yet to be, in a room full of strangers. I've managed to leave the house sans make up and with flip flops because the boy is in one of his moods and refuse to leave my hips - not even for me to make room in my stomach for that day's meals. I've lived through (and survived!) chipped nails and hair hastily bundled with a scrunchie, the colour of which doesn't even match the shirt I'm wearing.

I've gone out of the house looking less than perfect, with a toddling boy who has learnt to hold Mummy's hand in public because Mummy told him so.

To all those parents whom I've looked at with a wandering thought, questions and comments in my head, please accept my most sincere apologies. We never really know how it's like till we go through it, and I'm sorry that I was too quick to judge. With a few exceptions, there are never really bad parents in the world. There are just those who try, and try, and try... because every child is different, and no amount of theory on bringing up baby will prepare us sufficiently for the heart stopping and prideful moments of the parenting journey.

Since BabyMoo came along, I have grown me a cow hide, but I'm not complaining... because I have a huge smile as an accessory.

6 comments :

  1. Love your cow picture!! It's true that when we become parents our objectives and perspective changed. After having 3 kids I feel that I have an elephant's hide. Dressing up with tow has to be something smart casual. No more high heels and skirts for me. Am mostly into sandals and pants as have to run after the kids or one of them is busy climbing all over me when we are out.

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    1. When it comes to bringing baby / babies out... I think comfort and safety is the key! I don't mind falling on my face, but I don't want to endanger the boy in any way because I was too vain to think of him.

      I don't know how you do it with 3 kids, Dom! I'm with one and I'm already on this post... :D But I suppose we all do what we can, ya?

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  2. I love this post! Thanks for sharing! :-)

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  3. Haha yah man I do that too! Before kids I'm like, "OMG stop your kid from screaming. Like have some control woman!" But now I'm with the screaming kid, though definitely much less than the one I judged but still.. We learn don't we all =)

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    1. Yes we do... and I'm not proud to admit that I had such a low tolerance for these meltdowns previous to having my son! :D

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