What did you expect?

Friday, 1 June 2012

There are so many different people in the world, and no two people will ever approach a situation the same way. It could be in the words they use… how they go about solving a problem, or what they opt to do.

Ultimately, our choices will always be our own.

We always think that the glass is either ‘half-empty’ or ‘half-full’… depending on our take on things. A positive outlook can really be a great thing to have if we are one of those people who tend to see the bright side of things all the time, but usually - the higher the hopes, the bigger the disappointment(s) may be.

Whilst it’s true that we cannot always think that there is a chance for disappointments to materialise in any aspect, we can never rule out the possibility that they often do. Nothing in life has a surefire guarantee that it will work out the way we want it to… nothing is ever 100% foolproof. There is always that 0.01% chance that it may not turn out as expected.

And we all know that expectations can cause us to do things that may not conform with the way we are.

I always choose to look at things more on the negative side, rather than the positive side. That doesn’t mean that I will always look at the dark side of a situation… rather, it’s more like I would rather be prepared if things doesn’t quite make the mark for me.

I lower my expectations (or do not allow myself to have any expectations) unwittingly sometimes - even when I’m doing spontaneous things. If it works out for the best, I would consider it as a bonus. If it doesn’t, then at least I am emotionally prepared for it, because I did not have the expectations that would make me hurt and disappointed should things go the opposite of what I’ve hoped for.

I always prepare myself to expect something to happen. Averse or otherwise.

You may ask - how could preparing for something negative be nothing more than fueling the already there negativity? It seems like along with it, I would be doing the ultimate wrong in this harsh world we live in. As it is, the world does not dish out happiness by the dozen, why make myself worse off by choosing to explore the negative sides of things instead of having high hopes?

Simple, really. It makes me more emotionally prepared should it deviate from a hoped-for situation. I would simply smile cynically and think to myself: "That was expected, really…" and not feel really bad should things don’t go according to my plans.

I don’t expect too much out of people and things, just because I have seen and borne the brunt of hurt and pain when the walls come crashing down on me. Nothing surprises me anymore… and things that could go wrong - usually do.

Then again, I don't mope around and pick on things just to see the negative aspects of it. I do believe that if one keeps on expecting bad things to happen, they may happen simply for that reason alone. Being defensive because we are too afraid to take chances can often cause negativity in our lives - because chances are what we should take in order to live and learn. Only through experience are we able to actually realize the paths our lives should take. That’s when we have truly lived.

I just think that it’s better to be pleasantly surprised than be unexpectedly disappointed.

I don’t need to prepare for a positive thing;
Positive things never hurt.


  1. Expectations are often the cause for our happiness or sadness. Agree with you. =)

    1. When we have expectations - chances are they can be pretty 'unrealistic' because we harbour too much hope! :D

  2. Sometimes I just don't have any expectations. Like you, I think if they work out good, it's a bonus! If not... at least I won't be too sad or disappointed. Example, my lil girl sleeping through the night. She still wakes up 2-3 times a night but at least now she settles down very quickly compared to when she was just born. that to us is a bonus already :)

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

    1. I think my 'managing expectations' mode was turned on at full blast the moment I became a mum. I suppose it's easier to not harbour too much hopes because every child is different, and will develop in their own time.

      If I follow all parenting books and expect the boy to be like the kid who can walk at 8 months and be able to ask for his birthday theme for his 1st birthday in complete sentences, I'll go mad :D

  3. Somehow that Rolling Stones song is ringing in my head now!

    "Take me to the station/And put me on the train/I've got no expectations/To pass through here again."

    I think these days I just categorize things into "ideal" and "real," and remind myself to expect "real."


    1. Ah... Rolling Stones.

      Brings back a lot of memories. My ringtone hums 'As tears Go By'... and although it evokes a sense of melancholy, I'm still drawn to it.

      We're living in a real world - although as a dreamer, sometimes it's hard for me to accept reality. I suppose this is my way of managing life.

  4. harlow regina :) simply love this post. this post really hits home for me. many a times people often say...hey dont be too pessimistic, its not that we are too negative, its really sometimes we just wish to prepare things as best possible as we can. But life has taught me, no plan is the best plan. No matter how best the plan is, there will be hiccups along the way.....

    1. Hi Crystal!

      Thanks for stopping by.

      It's so easy for people to tell others not to be 'pessimistic' and to always look on the positive side. Having no expectations does not equate to negativity - in fact, I think without it, we can be happier people because we don't have to deal with negative feelings when things don't come to pass.

      No matter how we plan, whatever that will go wrong - WILL go wrong, so I usually work on trying to make the best of situations and looking for solutions when they do. I think the satisfaction of being able to get out of a particularly tricky situation is double-fold.



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