Top Ten {Tuesday}: 10 Things I’ve become since I became a Mum

Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Positive Changes

1. I have mellowed down.

I find myself less likely to lose my temper, and when things don’t go my way, I let it slide. Perhaps this is due to the fact that I got used to not getting *my* way with BabyMoo! I do get frustrated, but my reaction(s) will be far from what I used to do prior to motherhood.  I still surprise myself on this note – because I’m hardly a pushover or a doormat.

2. I have become more tolerant.

I used to have very little patience for things which I find belies good sense, but I’ve since learnt to enjoy life more by laughing at them. I have also managed my expectations, and in the process stopped being too affected when things don’t work out as expected. I think this point came about largely due to #1.

3. I stopped being selfish.

Motherhood does that. When once upon a time it’s all about my hopes, my dreams, my wants, my needs and what makes me happy, now it has automatically been channelled to BabyMoo. The ongoing quest is to ensure that he has a happy childhood and is guided in the right direction.

4. I have become more easy going and friendly.

I never needed to talk or be friendly to people unless they make the first move, but since the boy came round, it seems almost a natural thing to acknowledge strangers who smile and coo at him. I found that the smiles are projected more often and more easily... sometimes even without me realising that I was doing so.

5. I have learnt to laugh at myself.

I make mistakes. I put his diaper on backwards. I do stupid, absent minded things like put his toys in my bag, and put salt in my tea. No big deal. I used to get upset over things like that, because I didn’t like being careless. I was a bit OCD that way, but now I laugh it off. And laugh at my own silly antics.

6. I stopped caring about my image, and what people think of me.

I dance with BabyMoo and sing silly songs with him in public. He laughs at me, with me, and I pull silly faces to make him laugh. Anywhere, everywhere. I don’t care that people cast me sideway glances and wonder if I’ve gone bonkers. I didn’t need to project any image to anyone, anymore. Not when I have loads of fun with my baby being spontaneously silly.

7. I share a silent solidarity with other mums, strangers or otherwise.

A knowing glance and a sympathetic smile when the kids are bawling their heads off and creating a scene in public. We move out of the way to accommodate prams coming through. We hold the elevator doors open and let them enter or exit safely with the kids. We smile at each other, perfect strangers, when the kids choose to socialise without any pre-empting on our parts. We share stories, experiences, the funny and trying times of parenthood. We’ve all been there, done that, and although each child is unique and parenting styles differ, we unite in the common knowledge that we worry, laugh and cry too much for our kids... and would do anything for them in a heartbeat.

8. I stopped judging other parents.

Isn’t it funny how the single non-parents are the ones who seem to have the most advice to share on parenting trials and woes?

‘My friend’s sister’s nephew’s child was this and that. My sister’s neighbour’s cousin’s PD said that you should not give a child Formula because cow’s milk is for cows. You should not feed him this / you should try not to give in to him / you should toilet train regardless of whether he’s ready’.

And so on.

Admittedly, I never knew how difficult it is to be a parent and to grapple with parenthood until I became a Mum. I stopped thinking that the parents are at fault when I see a child throwing a tantrum. I stopped thinking that children can be well-behaved with proper guidance. Each child is different, and sometimes – as adults do, they all have their moods. Some days they are angels – the rest of the days they try our patience.

9. I suddenly possess strengths which I never knew I had.

I carry him everywhere. Even with a sturdy carrier, the weight bears down like a ton of bricks (or a sack of rice) after some time. When my back is close to breaking and my legs almost give way, I still can carry him that extra distance.

I suppose metaphorically, it will always be that way for us parents. As long as they are our children, we will always find enough strength to go on with some to spare for them - even during the darkest days.

10. I stopped resisting change, and embrace it instead.

The boy changes physically and mentally right before my eyes. With every change, there is always something new to learn and discover every day. Change is good. Positive ones are always easier, but the negative ones are dealt with as they come.

The Not-so-positive Changes

1. I started sounding like I belonged in the Military.

I hear words coming out of my mouth in staccato and high pitched intonations. I sometimes remind myself of a commander trying to round up his stubborn army of one. See #2.

2. I tend to use ‘Stop it!’ as a punctuation mark.

I used to pride myself on being able to manipulate the English Language for entertainment purposes. Big, powerful words to illustrate and emphasise points. Sad that my vocabulary has since been reduced to “StopIt”! “No”! and other single syllable simple words for maximum impact.

3. I became a worry wart.

When I became a Mum, I think I signed a contract with Worry Inc. There are no expiry dates stated.

4. I can’t travel light.

Diapers, wipes, water bottle, snacks, change of clothes and toy cars – and this was after we stopped having to lug around a thermos full of food, another thermos filled with hot water, milk bottles and formula.

5. I stopped wearing heels.

Between trying to teeter tall and the boy’s safety – this is a no brainer. When he started walking and running, I can’t supervise and run after him with sky high heels. If you are able to do so – kudos for mastering the art of running in heels without twisting or breaking your ankle running after a Duracell bunny.

6. I started gaining weight.

When we stopped having to pack porridge in a thermos for BabyMoo’s meals, I didn’t realise the effects of having to finish off the remnants of his restaurant sized meals on top of struggling to eat what I’ve ordered - adding on to that extra weight which I’ve been meaning to lose, but always get sidetracked upon.

7. I have started powdering bums more than my nose.

Who has time to look in the mirror when we are busy trying to entertain, sing with,  attend to, give a hug and cuddle, kiss boo-boos (some of which are imaginary) and play with the kiddo? I leave the house looking presentable, but that’s just about it. I don’t bother with touch-ups during the day. After all, if you have the kid as an accessory, people’s attention will usually be diverted long enough for them to barely notice Mummy’s shiny nose.

8. I am usually always tired or frazzled, or both.

Aside from the fact that I work full time, I try to allocate some ‘we’ time doing whatever that BabyMoo wants daily. At his age, this would usually involve making me run everywhere trying to keep him within sight. At *my* age, this is pretty strenuous on the old rickety bones.

9. I spend most of my pay check on the kid.

He can’t have enough clothes or shoes – never mind that he outgrows them faster than they arrive from overseas when I choose to shop online. Then there is the subconscious need to always feed him with the best... never mind that Mummy and Daddy eats his leftovers, or comparatively ‘inferior’ food products.

10. I started to N-A-G.

When I first realised that I was ‘nagging’, I stopped short, looked at the hubba and exclaimed: “I was nagging!!”

He just looked at me, laughed - and told me that I have finally become a confirmed ‘Mum’, and motherhood rather suits me. Whatever that means.

I'm thankful to have been given the opportunity to be a Mum, and I'm also thankful for what I've become since I've been blessed with the coolest kid in the world. The positive, and the not-so-positive ones.

I love being a Mum, despite all the bodily changes and mental challenges. I think you do, too.

   Top Ten Tuesday at Many Little Blessings  


  1. Well the key thing is positivity rules! Don't you think the negative ones just fade into the background? It certainly did when I was reading your post. :)

    1. You made my day... :) Much needed since I have a stuffy nose and a fever - got the virus from the boy who got it from Daddy!

    2. alamak u too! get well soon k?

  2. Cool list and I agree with most of what you wrote esp. "Stop caring about my image and what people think of me"!



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