A Survival Manual!

Monday, 17 September 2012

Different meanings of 9 simple words used every day - as used by women and men.

1) GOOD

Women: this is the word that women use to end a discussion when they are right and you must remain silent.

Men: this word is used by men to say that actually all goes well.
But for them of course, everything that goes is always good. They cannot be considered!

2) 5 MINUTES

Women: if the woman is getting dressed - it means 30 minutes.
If she gave you just 5 minutes to watch the game before helping to clean at home. It's 5 minutes!!

Men: if he goes to visit his mother and says that he will remain only five minutes, feel free to cook the roast. When he comes back… the roast is not yet cooked. If he says he will clear up the mess in '5 minutes'… you can even go to a travel agency and not just book the trip, but leave, enjoy the holiday and return without him realizing anything.

If you are in bed and he says "we got only 5 minutes"… sleep in the guest room.

3) NOTHING

Women: The calm before the storm.
It means something ... And you should stay alert.
Discussions starting with "NOTHING" end normally with GOOD.

Men: nothing for them means nothing. The fact nothing is nothing. No need to continue to investigate.

4) YOU'RE WELCOME

Women: a challenge, not a permit. Don't do it.

Men: you're welcome… cleaning, shopping, ironing, washing, cooking, to take children to school…. 'You're welcome' is one of their favorite phrases.

5) BIG SIGH

Women: it's like a word, but is a non-verbal statement... so it's often misunderstood by men.
A big sigh means that she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why is wasting her time with you talking of nothing (back to point 3 for the meaning of words nothing).

Men: They do it all the time that it becomes meaningless!

6) OK

Women: This is one of the most dangerous words that a woman can tell a man. It means that she needs to think long before deciding how and when you'll pay back.

Men: OK is like 'good'. There is no more to add. Clear and crystal clear.

She: I should clean the house'…
Him: OK

She: The fridge is empty. We should do the shopping.
Him: OK

Etc.. … Etc.. Needless to try to find out more. Don't bother trying to get their attention, or even better - their support!

7) THANKS

Women: A woman thanked you; do not ask questions and do not faint; they just want to thank you
(here I would like to add a little clause - it's true unless she says 'thank you very much' which means just pure sarcasm.)

Men: If a man says 'thank you' - looking at your face and not your breasts… maybe he is sincere.

8) WHATEVER YOU WANT

Women: Women's way of telling you to get the hell off her face, without the usage of vulgarities.

Men: this is the key used to say: Look, whatever you want but please don't stress me. There is no more odious sentence for a woman.

9) DON'T WORRY, I'LL DO IT

Women: Another dangerous assertion; means that she has asked a man to do something several times but now she is doing it. This will bring the man to ask: 'What's' wrong?' and for the woman's answer: refer to no. 3.

Men: For a man… you'll never hear it! NEVER !!!!!

14 comments :

  1. hahahah! good good! I'll share your post. :p I like point 5 much much.

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  2. Good one there Regina. Should I consider myself lucky if my hubby does carry out point 9? Haha.

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    1. Susan...

      Then he's for keeps! :) Now to ensure he keeps on doing #9. Haha!!

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  3. What a comically realistic post! I particularly like (or rather am guilty) of points #3 and #8! :)

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    1. We all are - at one point or another!

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  4. I say "nothing" a lot and I definitely expect something! What with my tone and expression, isn't it pretty obvious that he needs to read in between the lines? But of course, guys are terrible at reading between the lines!!

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    1. They can. They just pretend not to understand.
      Then they grouse - you expect us to *know* what you want if you don't say it?

      If we say - then we're branded nags.

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  5. Lol! Loved the points, I know point 9 always makes me worry he won't do it! ;)

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    1. Men can be such procrastinators, eh? Grrrrrrr!!

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  6. Haha this made me laugh. You know men well!

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    1. I try, Summer... I know them, maybe - but I still don't understand them! Haha!

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  7. Oh my guy doesn't say "Don't worry I'll do it." He says "later," which means never!

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    Replies
    1. Eh... SAME!!

      Duh. I wonder if its in the genetic makeup~!

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