Testing my courage.

Thursday, 18 October 2012

Now that BabyMoo is fast approaching the big 2, I have found myself increasingly thinking about how to impart the right values to him.

He is very strong minded (read: stubborn), no doubt courtesy of Daddy and I. Those who know us personally will attest to the fact that dealing with one of us is bad enough - try adding two together and they will shake their heads even before they can create worst-case scenarios.

He is extremely impatient. The hubs is apt to give me a sarcastic perplexed look every time I complain about this particular trait of his. When BabyMoo wants something, he wants it immediately - and this transcends material things, edible things, and emotional ones.

He likes to do things his way. He doesn't like to be guided on how to operate a toy or work something out. He will ask you to show him, but he will protest if you try to show him the correct way to do things when he is in the midst of trying to figure things out on his own after watching us. He gets impatient, gets angry, and walks away... only to try again after a few minutes, because his stubborn streak makes sure that he must be able to do it.

He has a memory like an elephant. He does not forget things, especially experiences. While this can be a good thing, on the downside, whenever he is disciplined - it's almost like he bears a grudge against the disciplinarian. He does not cry (when he thinks he's right), will refuse to look at the person, and don't even try to cuddle him or give him a peace offering of sorts immediately after. He will relax after awhile, but his body language still shows that he resents being given a talking to.

How do I deal with this mini version of Me?

Talk about confronting my own demons... my Mum simply laughs, short of telling me 'Deserve it!' when I complain to her. She does, however, pretend to 'tell' the hubs how alike BabyMoo and I are. I now know that I must have given her lots of reasons to worry back then, as well - but no, I'm not going to even give her that satisfaction! :)

We have always treated BabyMoo as adult-like as is possible given his tender age. We don't believe in baby talk, nor do we attribute his antics to him being 'still a child'. We talk to him and try to make him understand why things cannot be done in a certain way, and why he has to face up to his actions when he has been extremely naughty or simply wants to test our patience.

Sometimes he listens, and at other times, he just pretends to not understand. We then leave him be, but we know that we cannot afford to get tired of trying to teach him values in life. It does get trying at times, especially when I question if I'm on the right path because of his stubborn streak, but somehow this little boy of mine knows how to steer me back on the right track on those occasions. Call me crazy, but I can always see if he understands or otherwise - in his eyes.

In the meantime, lest I forget... these are the things I would like BabyMoo to know at various stages in his life:
  • Life is never fair.
  • It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you are not.
  • There are many opportunities in life, one's attitude is what determines what becomes of it.
  • Sometimes the most complicated things have very simple answers.
  • Live beautifully. Dream passionately. Love completely.
  • How you do one thing, is how you do everything.
  • Don’t try to understand everything because sometimes it is not meant to be understood, but to be accepted.
  • Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.
  • You were given this life because you’re strong enough to live it.
  • In life; there are choices. Always choose to be happy.

For everything there is a reason. He tests my patience, my resilience, and my courage... but all things considered, when he hugs me and holds my hand tight, I know that being a parent has made me whole, and that is just about priceless.


Linking up with:

SANses.com's Talkative Thursdays


10 comments :

  1. You have THAT book right? Read it! And find how to better deal with him. And yes, he is a mini DinoEgg! And yes, I am laughing inside when I read your post. And yes I am ticking the points while reading and relating them to DinoEgg. And yes, you are in for a whole lot of adventures!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *sigh*

      Lucky I know you. Doesn't make me feel so alone! Hahah!!

      Delete
  2. Sounds kinda similar to what I'm experiencing with Becky right now, especially the memory part. We treat Becky like an adult too, and sometimes, she surprises us by just how 'adult' she seems even though she's still a kid. Especially the times when she insists on things being done her own way, despite us explaining to her and trying to make her understanding, it's very trying. Then we have to remember that she is after all still a child.

    And what book are you ladies talking about? Maybe I need it myself. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This book: http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Your-Spirited-Child-Rev/dp/0060739665

      It's really helped me a lot. :)

      Delete
  3. Hahaha I know how you feel coz I too see my own traits in my kids, and it is Matthew who gives me the "Retribution!" look. Sometimes, I even find it hard to scold them precisely coz I know they "got it from me"... :p But yes, totally agree on not baby-talking to them. They really understand more than we think they do. Love all your bullet points! Incidentally, the last point is what I always tell Isaac too (especially when he is throwing a tantrum): Always choose to be happy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes it's hard to do all those, even for us adults!

      Delete
  4. it's like looking in the mirror, ya! haha I've asked my mum for secrets when she was bringing me up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jiahui,

      I dare not! Cos that's like opening a can of worms! Hahaha!!

      Delete
  5. That book! Its helping me lots for number 2. My mum just shakes her head and tells me how stubborn and what a fussy eater I was!

    I think its great how you are consistently holding on to those values & teaching them to babymoo. He'a lucky to have you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jus... looking SO forward to meeting you in person! When ah? :D

      Delete

 

Powered by Motherhood