Remind me again why the government thinks that the child bearing generation is not producing fast enough? Anyway... that's another thought to think about another day.
What is it that influences a couple's decision to have more than one child, and why is it that many children are produced almost consecutively, with a minimum age gap? I've wondered about that, especially with one child who demands my complete attention and leaves me thoroughly exhausted at the end of the day. Multiply that by two or three, and I don't think this old bag of bones (or my sanity) will be able to take it.
My gynaecologist tried to encourage me to have another child, going so far as to promise to give me 50% off the entire package, including delivery costs - should I get myself pregnant within the first 6 months of giving birth to BabyMoo. She did mention that it is medically proven that a woman is most fertile during the first 6 months post partum, and that if we were to try, chances are, it will be a hit and hit. Maybe she made a mistake of telling me this when I was struggling to stay awake for night feeds, battling engorgement, struggling with trying to understand the cries of the baby and melting from the heat while the stomach is boundsotightithurtstobreathe.
My friends and I have discussed this issue at length. Perhaps in the case of many couples who have kids close in age - they choose to get the production 'over and done with', putting up with sleepless nights and making sure that their acute senses work 24/7 all in one time frame. I'm sure all of us agree that taking care of one child is no joke... and it makes superwomen out of regular ones with the onset of two or more.
As one mum has succinctly put it: one steriliser, one steamer / blender, one tandem stroller, two messy mouths to feed at one time, and one shout to warn both. Not to mention that if you have 2 of the same gender, you won't have to purchase any clothes or shoes for #2.
In the case of another mum (who has the luxury of being young enough to space out the production), she was extremely thankful for the help rendered by her 7 year old son when it came to taking care and looking out for his younger sister. She was then able to do the housework or have a necessary breather when her son helps to keep an eye on the baby. She did confess to being tired of having to go through the 'new mum' motions all over again, though - just when she was already able to not worry about feeding, toilet training, and having eyes at the back of her head all the time. She also appreciated not having to deal with the usual jealousy which could be present in 'younger elder children'.
Regardless of the age difference between the kids, I have the utmost respect for mothers of two or more. They work, keep house, deal with a cacophony of repetitious: 'MummyMamaMommmMummyMamaMommm' twenty million times a day, and still find time to see to their Misters, too. I suppose when one becomes a Mother, like a superhero... life is faced headlong - because there is no time to worry or be fearful of failures when there isn't the luxury of time to dwell.
What influenced your decision to have more than one? Looking at it from a parental point of view (apart it being great for the kids as they will then have playmates / siblings closer in age) does it make better sense to have kids consecutively, or for them to have an age gap, at least enough for the older ones to grasp the concept of having a sibling better?
Do share your thoughts!
|The first twelve months is the toughest, especially for a new mum. Does it get better with the 2nd child onwards?|