Fatherhood: Love and Discipline

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Discipline has been by far the most challenging aspect of fatherhood for the husband, and I can truly empathise with him. I'm totally hopeless when it comes to enforcing ground rules and making sure that BabyMoo know that he can't always get away with whatever he does, so it has been left to Daddy to always be the 'Bad Guy' and try to make him understand.

There are many aspects of discipline, and striking the fine balance is a challenge to any parent. If the punishment or discipline is too extreme, it can leave the child with emotional scars or make them feel unloved; and that is the last thing any parent would want to do in the process of trying to teach a child between right and wrong. Too lenient - and the child will simply choose to ignore you, and eventually encourage him to be disrespectful and not have qualms about going against other adults.

BabyMoo has always been very perceptive, and from very early on, he knows exactly who he can manipulate and wrap around his finger. The women in the family are ripe for his picking, even Grandpa most of the time falls to his charms. He knows, however, that Daddy can't be easily fooled, and there is little point in trying to fight him (yes, he tried). 

So now, BabyMoo knows he has to face Daddy whenever he has been naughty, but the little defiant one usually does not shed a tear in the process. At least, not during the time that Daddy tries to explain and reason things out with him.

Guess who's been a naughty boy?

A little while later, he goes to another corner, squats down, and I see tears roll down his cheeks. He brushes them away... and refuses my extended hand. I give him some time alone, until I think he's just about ready.

Real men babies boys don't cry.

After every episode, the hubs will never fail to ask the little one if he understands why he needed to have the talk with him. He will always apologise and tell BabyMoo that he doesn't like to have to scold and cause him to be unhappy, but that he has to understand he cannot always get away with things despite being told not to. BabyMoo has a very sensitive soul despite his gung-ho and seemingly defiant attitude, and that makes it doubly hard.

I think it is so much more challenging to have to enforce tough love on a little person who is just discovering the world... but we recognise that it is so very necessary to ensure that we are on our way to raising a child who is responsible and respectful of his surroundings and the people around him.

Before being BabyMoo's friend and buddy, the hubs is, first and foremost - his Daddy.



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21 comments :

  1. Hi Regina, I have two baby boys;daddy is trying to always be their best friend, but somehow discipline is necessary in some circumstances. Linking up with you via FRONT hop :-) please follow me back. Thanks.

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    1. Hi ya!!

      Followed both on FB and Twitter... thanks for coming by :)

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  2. Another well-timed blog entry, Regina! I feel your every single word and the emotions & reasons behind.

    It makes my heart ache everytime I see my husband discipline our children and when I discipline them, it makes his heart break! Alamak...cannot win! hahaha

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    1. I cannot do it lah, Mags! He will hug me, then I totally forget what I was angry about!

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  3. The photo of him squatting in the corner,wiping off a tear melts my heart...it's never pleasant to discipline but we do it because we love them. The motivation is love and not condemnation. Thanks for this reflective post.

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    1. Ya... my heart broke when I saw him squat at that corner like a mini-beng!

      But if we don't start now, next time will be much harder when he's so used to getting his way.

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  4. Daddy is also quite strict with the boys but they are more afraid of the mummy then the daddy as they risk not being fed if they anger the mummy.

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    1. Hahahaha!!! The way to a man's heart is always his stomach!

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  5. Children understand so much more than we think they do! Looking at photos of C, I think I'll also melt. My challenge is the delicate balance in disciplining in love, not anger. Thankful for a husband who is very balanced that way!

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  6. Absolutely melted my heart with his squatting photo! But still cute - notti or not. :) daddy is doing a great job. Times like these, they find comfort in mummy usually.

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  7. My boy is only 6 months old now, but he has developed quite a character ...and I dread the day I need to play discipline mistress. Daddy tends to be the "anything goes" person and I will probably have to play the bad cop.

    But I think C handled it really well.

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  8. My husband is the one with tons of patience. I would burn into flames most of the time and then the boys start to listen. But when my husband talks to them for being naughty even before he let his voice out the boys would listen.

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  9. Poor C. Melted my heart also.
    There is nothing worse than disciplining out of anger, your husband seems very calm and rational. That's the best way.
    The two of you'll raise him well, I'm sure of it.

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  10. I think you & the hubs are doing a good job raising him up and discipline isn't easy! Over here I'm the bad cop, hubbs is a lot more lenient with them (until he bears the brunt of their disobedience!)

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  11. Discipline is tough! Sometimes I think it's harder on us parents than on the kids!

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  12. I think I get more upset than Lil Pumpkin when I have to discipline her too. Tough being hard on someone you deem so precious..

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka
    Join in: Wordless Wednesday Linky Party

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  13. Cute!
    Father and Son moment.. the pix really looks little Baby Moo is guilty of something and he had to apologize to his Papa :-)

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    1. He knows when he's done wrong :)

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  14. Hi MummyMoo. I blog at privikids.blogspot.sg about my fathering experiences and enforcing discipline is what I believe in too. I don't believe in capital punishment so I do have to be VERY patient in talking sense to my 2 year old whenever he does something naughty. There is great satisfaction in helping your child understand life's lessons thanks to your words, as compared to maintaining total obedience to avoid getting spanked. I also learned that words can sometimes hurt more than physical pain. There are times where my son would cry because of what I say to him. We as parents must be mindful of their feelings! Thanks for sharing your experience!

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    1. Hi Darren!

      Thanks for stopping by :) I look forward to reading more of your experiences too!

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