Separation Anxiety? Nay, Not I.

Thursday, 24 January 2013

I try to always be there for BabyMoo especially when I'm not at work, but there are days when I have to relinquish that responsibility to the hubs. This happens when I have meetings which run late, or I have to run an errand which would take twice as long if I were to bring him along.

At times like these, I worry. Even if it's for an hour, or the duration of the drive home from my in laws', I get concerned that something will go wrong. Silly, I know - perhaps even tempting to brand myself an overprotective mum, but I suppose I'm not alone when I say that I am of the opinion that only momma would understand the child and attend to him in the way which he is most used to.

So on two separate occasions last week, when I had to work late on one day and was down nursing a bad flu at home a few days later, I worried about how he would be with Daddy on the drive home. As per the usual practice, he will always reach out for my hand the moment he is seated on his car seat. He will curl his hands in mine and we will hold hands, the entire journey - wherever we're headed to.

Truth be told, these are  moments which I treasure. He leans against my arm, and we will be lost in our own thoughts. He sometimes falls asleep, but he will never let go.


The usual routine on a given weekday is for the hubs to pick me up from work, and we will make our way down to my in laws' to pick the boy up. We will have dinner there, and head on home after that. The scheduled meeting will end at around 9.30pm, and so this means that instead of me picking the kid, he would have to pick his mymmeh up instead.

I fussed almost from the time I knew I had the meeting scheduled. I worried that he will be upset, and heaped the long suffering husband with lots of cautionary measures and warnings to not turn around even if BabyMoo is screaming his little head off. On the day itself, I put his toy cars in the cup holders of his car seat as a source of distraction, and hoped that he will be fine.

After the meeting, I waited anxiously for them, short of wringing my hands and pacing the lobby. I half expected to see a tear streaked face when I opened the car door, but there was nothing but smiles from the two favourite boys in my life. I queried DaddyMoo on how he was throughout the journey... and of course he was on a perfect 'if-all-kids-were-this-sweet-they-won't-be-kids' behaviour. The cars weren't even touched.

One would think I would actually relax after that, right? Wrong. A few days later, I still fussed when I was too ill to be at work and came home straight after a visit to the doctor's. I wanted to make my way down in the evening to my in laws' to pick him up, only to be scolded (deservedly so) by the hubs who told me not to be foolish.

BabyMoo came home with Daddy, gave me a hug, and ran to his mini race track to play with his cars. I was informed (by a very smug husband) that he told Daddy to GoGoGo! and pointed out his favourite car when they passed the huge billboard entering the expressway. Other than that, he was humming to himself, and wasn't concerned about Mummy's absence. *sob*

I know I worry too much. I think, deep in my heart, perhaps I was even expecting him to have a meltdown or cry during the journey because I'm not there. So it didn't happen. Get a grip on yourself, woman!

BabyMoo will be starting Playgroup in March. I'm worrying myself silly over that prospect, too - even though I'm sure he will be fine. I hope *I* will be fine.

'Separation anxiety' usually happens once they are able to recognise people and faces, and are not able to locate familiar ones. They usually grow out of it, right?

I don't think I ever did.

Look Mymmeh!! I can even take the bus on my own!


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8 comments :

  1. Aiyoh, so sweet! I think, yes, most of the time, it's us mums who have separation anxiety!

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    1. Ya lah... haiz. Sad, you know? Hahaha

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  2. DinoBoy never have that till he was 4-5 years old. If I'm not home he will pick up the phone and call me, asking me "when are you coming home?". A year later, he told DinoPapa in a few occasions that "I'm worried about mummy, is she coming home yet?". Perhaps the same will happen when BabyMoo is older?

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    1. Yes... perhaps? But I think C is far too detached as it is :D

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  3. He's wearing Supermom's kid! Yay to the Supermom! You will survive this la, but perhaps not when he has found his wife! :)

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  4. I totally know how you feel, cos I feel the exact same way as well when I leave my daughter to be cared for by my husband. As a precautionary, I usually try to plan my meetings/errands around her nap time or try to arrange for her to go to the playground so there's something to entertain her.

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  5. Perhaps because I faced my children every waking second, I was only to eager to send them off school and did not have such anxiety! They had but not me haha! I needed the breather. But it's different when they first started taking public transport back from school. Now that anxiety can kill if they don't arrive on expected time.

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  6. how sweet is that picture of the two of you holding hands! i used to worry like you, esp cos my son is very sticky to me. but kids cope. where i expected tears, i found that my son had a great time with his alternate caregivers. both my kids still howl when i leave the house tho. that's my ball and chain!

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