How to be lousy parents... and get away with it!

Tuesday, 30 April 2013

The husband and I have decided that we're lousy parents.

a) We don't advocate a regimented lifestyle for the bub.

Ever since BabyMoo was born, we've always gone with the flow on things... we never attempted to put him on a strict routine of bath, bed and feeds. We started him off on 60ml of milk every two hours, which became 80ml every 3 hours from the 2nd week onwards, and then 120ml every 4 hourly. His body clock adjusted on demand, and we learnt to distinguish his cries of discomfort or hunger.

When he turned 4 months, we started him on solids on the PDs advice, and reduced the milk intake accordingly. At 6 months, he was eating breakfast, lunch and dinner (porridge with pumpkin, carrots, fruits) with milk feeds in between - but we fed him on demand.

BabyMoo doesn't have fixed nap times or a bed time either. But whenever he's sleepy, we recognise the signs and help him sleep. At bed time, we create a (sort of) routine for him we call the 3M - Music, massage, milk. But we never instil a fixed time for bed. He plays with us or Granny until he's sleepy, and surprisingly, he will without fail turn to Mummy, lay his head on my shoulder, grab my arms, and perk up at the mention of milk. This happens at around 9.30pm - 10.00pm, and he's usually fast asleep by 10.30pm. When he was able to point things out (apart from jabbing Mummy's eyes, nose and ears) he would ask for milk, his massage lotion after his feed and then point to the TV.

Because TV is not bad enough.
Bath times are at odd hours of the day - he can be so sweaty and sticky that a bath is necessary just before he sleeps (otherwise the fussy boy will toss and turn and be generally uncomfortable), and by the time I pick him up from my MIL's place, we will usually reach home at 9.30pm.

We don't insist and try to make him sleep at a precise hour daily, or create a timetable that he has to follow religiously. We figured that he has the rest of his life to be exposed to a more or less regimented lifestyle, unless we decide to migrate elsewhere.

We are happy, and so is he.

I have such bad parents they think that me falling asleep sitting up is amusing.

b) We feed BabyMoo anything and everything!

(apart from alcohol and spirits on their own.)

Ever since he's able to sit and eat at the table with us (7 months onwards) we aren't averse to feeding him what we eat. He would usually point to Mummy's / Daddy's plate / drink, and we give him a taste of it, within reason, of course.

He's had his share of all kinds of cuisine, from Bread Boules to Duck Rice to Paella... and he's taken well to everything except chicken breast. He has an odd aversion to chicken breast and lean meats in any form, and when I initially tried mixing chicken in his usual pork porridge and carrots previously, he spat it out and swatted away the bowl. Now he's not too bad with chicken, since he discovered the wonderful taste of soya sauce chicken - but will still be able to differentiate between the breast and the upper thigh meat.

Chawan mushi only from Sushi Tei, and nowhere else (we tried!). Eggs were fed to him at 8 months in the form of Omega 3 Egg Tofu because Mummy was clueless and only found out that eggs are only supposed to be fed to baby after they turn one!

But as long as he likes the food, he can have it day in, day out, every day, without any complaints.

Chocolate cakes, ice cream, mousse and puddings. He's able to point out exactly which ice-cream flavour and cake selection off the counter now, and relishes each bite. He sometimes refuses to share his food, and we're constantly reminding him that he HAS to share, and that's another hurdle we have to overcome.

A night cap with Daddy just before bed.

c) We don't hog Baby Changing rooms.

It takes us under a minute to change his diaper now (apart from the times when we are slowed down by the toxic fumes of more 'ornate' diaper changes in the usually ill-equipped changing rooms).

We don't use a changing mat to line the public changer. Now that the bub prefers to be changed standing up, Pull-Ups are a god-send. We've noticed parents who line the changer with a mat or wipe it using almost half of the contents of the wet wipes (80s), use lotion, use powder, etc. I must really admire their diligence in ensuring that their child is not too exposed to germs! :)

Apart from the fact that we have a squirmer and flipper who refuses to lie still during a diaper change, we're so inadequately care-less(?) comparatively. Thank goodness BabyMoo doesn't suffer from diaper rash badly as long as we *remember* to change his diaper every 4 hours - which DaddyMoo proudly proclaims is gotten from his 'cow-hide' attribute.

d) We don't over-sterilise.

While we still observe a measure of hygiene when it comes to BabyMoo (we use baby-friendly washing liquids, detergents, softeners, and DaddyMoo has a little container of washing liquid to wash Baby's utensils in the diaper bag at all times)...

We hardly make it a point to:
  • wipe down the high chair every time we're presented with one at restaurants unless it's so obviously dirty, in which case we would rather he sits at a regular chair.
  • we let him go on kiddy rides without wiping down the steering wheel and seat
  • we sometimes forget to wash his hands before meals (then in lieu of carrying up a seated, comfortable kid looking forward to his meal - I will proceed to wipe his hands with hand and mouth wipes the best I can)
  • we feed him pretzel, cake, and food morsels on the go after wiping our hands on a wet wipe.
  • we never mopped our floors with Dettol. BabyMoo is actually smart enough to never attempt to put non-food items in his mouth.

Bringing me to the playground at dusk is their idea of a joke. Serves *them* right if they get eaten alive by mozzies! 

DaddyMoo and I believe that when we subject a child to a regimented lifestyle, disallow him things to do, watch and eat, our child will not be as exposed to the outside world as we would prefer him to be. We prefer to educate rather than outright ban, for being the rebels that we both were, we totally understand how the forbidden fruit can sometimes taste the sweetest.

My Mehmee feeds me all sorts of junk just to see if I'm like a regular kid who loves them. Too bad I'm always all out to spite her. She gets so disappointed when I only get off on holding the supposed bad stuff instead of gobbling them!

BabyMoo asks for a certain food. It was given to him. He doesn't like it much... spits it out, and never asks for it again. Not even when he's hungry and that's what Daddy and Mummy are having. He recognises things at first glance, and he remembers what they are called. I think it's amazing that he's able to do this... but I'm his mother and I'm allowed to be biased :)

We're also hoping that BabyMoo would have built up his immunity from having 'dirty' parents. We draw the line at certain things, though... when we come to it.

We definitely aren't the model parents that we should be, but we love our son to bits and pieces and more. We try to give him what we can, the best way we know how, and all our faults aside, we would only wish for the best for our son.

As all parents do.

"We worry about what a child will become tomorrow,
yet sometimes we forget that he is someone today."



Has my Mehmee stopped warbling yet?! Wake me up when the babbling ends.

<div align="center"><a href="http://www.mummymoo.com/search/label/Tuesday%27s%20Thoughts" title="MummyMOO" target="_blank"><img src="http://i50.tinypic.com/30be6mq.png" alt="MummyMOO" style="border:none;" /></a></div>


26 comments :

  1. You've made your point with the photos of Caden happily munching on his treats. As a working parent, I find it hard to have a strict regime for Sophie too because the time spent with her is so precious. So I can totally understand why she wants to stay up just a little longer so that she can spend more time with us. As for food, I used to be so careful with what I fed her. Now it's just whatever that gets her to eat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, Susan! I think that's just about it... every minute is so very precious, and if I could, I want it filled with laughter and smiles all the time :)

      It's hard to say no when *I* want to spend time with him, too. We can be doing nothing, but being together and enjoying each other's company is what gets me through most (hard) days.

      Delete
  2. My kind of parenting! Heeheehee.... I call this child led parenting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The term "Child led parenting" will raise them eyebrows higher! Hahahaha

      Delete
  3. Oh!! C is soo cute sleeping while sitting. :) I think it is about striking a balance... and for me... J already had his first mouthful of ice-cream before he turned 1.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahah!! Ya - the hubs made noise cos instead of putting the boy to bed, I grabbed my camera! :D

      Delete
  4. Eh, I don't like eating chicken breast too!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I agree it's Irene, it's child led parenting! Me, I cannot. I'm home with both the kids and if I do this, the house will go upside down! Must nap or else I cannot work!!

    Ps I'm a breast kinda person :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adora... you like tetek meat? :D

      I think ah - if I'm a SAHM Mum of two, I WILL put them in a routine (the more naps the better!!) otherwise as you say... how to even pee in peace? Don't say Poop. That one sometimes have to tahan till Max comes home, right?

      It's whatever works, lah! :)

      Delete
  6. Well, you have your own way of parenting..... I don't really think it have anything related to 'lousy' anyway..
    :p

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha!! Thanks for the vote of confidence! :)

      Delete
  7. We too don't have a fixed timetable for the kids but a list of items which they have to get done now that they are in school. Glad to see Caden enjoying himself so much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure we would have to find a timetable and routine to adhere to when he goes to 'proper' school next time :) but for the time being, I'm just going to enjoy being with him as much as I can!

      Delete
  8. We are full time working parents n we stick to routines; bath time bed time, because if we don't DinoBoy will not have ample rest n will be cranky the next day. Something tt we do not want, wailing or crying baby early in the morning? NO WAY!

    We understand our kids well to teach ir discipline accordingly, regardless of how ir what we do there will be some one tt disagrees with it. Just simply agree to disagree with these pple .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jen, if we do that - we will have a wailing and cranky baby at night, when we ALL need some relaxation at the end of a work day! That won't do... at least for us, because I personally don't believe in going to bed mad or upset, and would not want to subject C to that.

      I suppose we will improvise as we go along. What works for him now may need to be adjusted as he grows older and there are different things to handle.

      Delete
    2. Eh I did not say you are wrong or what. I'm just sharing the things we do to DinoBoy.

      Delete
    3. Ayoh... I never said that you said I'm wrong mah!

      Delete
  9. You are the dream parents of many many young kids. :p Me same as Adora (not the tetek part). Cannot be too lax otherwise house upside down! Whatever rocks for all in the family, then it is working just fine. :p

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! I can understand where you girls are coming from, as well. Ultimately it's whatever works for both parent and kids! :D

      Delete
  10. Our two families can be lousy together! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...and it's no wonder we can click! Hahaha

      Delete
  11. Love the part about not over-sterilising - I used to be OCD about cleanliness. When I was pregnant with A, I was told by EVERYONE not to sterilise every part of the house (my long-suffering poor helper) because it will affect the baby's immunity BIG TIME. So i learnt to look the other way when A licked the floor, haha. Well, he still gets his share of colds and all, but he is certainly not a sickly child. Guess floor-licking is good for one's health?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, apparently it does! I've known some kids who aren't floor lickers, and are constantly unwell! :D

      Delete
  12. Love this post.. thanks for sharing! Made me feel a tad better about being a WAHM with no routines whatsoever... except bedtime coz you know, Mama needs some sane time! :) but if bath times get cut down to once even in this hot humid weather... to each his own eh?

    ReplyDelete
  13. I tried routines with my first boy coz that's what everyone said you need to do! Then I got really stressed when somehow or another he just simply refused to conform.. with my second one.. bo chap liao.. got to take care of both.. the second one can do and eat whatever she like.. except bed time is at 11pm sharp. But life is so much easier i have to say.. i have people saying that you as a mum like that not good.. my response is.. yeh it's my kid.. so discipline yours and leave me to mine.

    ReplyDelete

 

Powered by Motherhood