We can pride ourselves in being smarter, being more discerning, and becoming more knowledgeable, but there are certain aspects about ourselves that we can't seem to change no matter what we have experienced.
Recently I was talking to a friend about a few choices that I've made, things that I've been through... and what I portend as the shape of things to come.
I explained that even as I live and grow, learn through what I have been through... and perhaps even become more cynical day by day, there are certain choices which I've made that I believe will not change if I were to be faced with a similar situation. Even when I know that these choices will eventually turn the tide unfavourably on me. I said that my own personality will not let me choose otherwise, even though I know and understand the consequences of my action. It's simply about being true to myself.
... he said simply, and with a straight face:
"Um... that's not being who you are - that's sheer stupidity, and of you being resistant to changes."
Perhaps a lot of people will see it that way. Rationally speaking, one should always learn from one's mistakes... but I'm not a very rational individual. I have never been. I have always let my heart do the talking, more often than not, with disastrous results. It may be said that it's sheer stupidity and stubbornness on my part - but how do we go against our feelings when it comes to matters of the heart?
Can it then be said that if we were to think rationally all the time - we will be truly happy?
For me, every moment of sadness that may come from totally succumbing to that moment of folly when I go with my heart - is part of life's journey. At the end of the day, even if I'm left with nothing, I will still have myself... and the realization that I have tried, I have done all that I could, and stayed true to myself.
I did not compromise.
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