Love, as I know it.

Sunday, 15 February 2015

"Whatever is past is gone...
The best is always yet to come."

I don't feel any different now as I did a year ago...
or maybe even a few years ago.

Perhaps I've been through more in all my years of living than many people have in their entire lifetime, but I've never let any of these incidences mar my thoughts or feelings about life and living. I may have felt a thousand knifes stab the very core of my being... cried enough tears to make me feel as though there aren't any more tears to see me through the rest of my life, and I may have questions that I never had the answers to; but they've not made me jaded and tired of life.

On the contrary.

They've made me realize that I, too, deserve to be happy. I cannot go on living my life simply to make others happy, neither should I continue ignoring what may be right in front of me simply because I was too afraid to face the consequences.

I've also learned that change need not necessarily be bad. Sometimes change is needed so that our lives can progress. I now know that we may have to make certain sacrifices so as to make room for more positive in our lives, and that love need not necessarily have to hurt in order for it to be real.

Valentine's Day 2015 went past this year the way it had for me like it had been since I understood its 'significance'. Without flowers, or gifts, or having to be together with the other half just simply because 'it's Valentine's Day'. I worked, and he entertained the boy. I'm thankful for him, and I'm thankful for my small family. It warms my heart to see so many couples enjoying the day, and it made me smile to see even those who have kids - bring them out to celebrate love.

On Saturday the 14th of February 2015, as the boys dropped me off at work, I finally understood contentment and love. It's never about having someone to constantly assure you that you are loved. It's not about gifts, or words that say how much you mean to them. It's about understanding, and sacrifice. The little one knows that Mummy has to work, and even though he hugged me tight and kissed me too many times before he 'hung out with Daddy', I am secure in the knowledge that he is cared for, and he understands. The husband never questions me why. He knows how much I love what I do, and he gives me freedom to be me. 

For me, that's love.

I'm home now, after work, at 2:56 in the morning, and both boys are asleep, I sit here typing this, secure in the knowledge that I am loved.

Most of all, everytime I walk in the door, after a long day's work, I'm always content.
I always, always, feel like 'I've come home'.

Happy Valentine's Day.

...and these boys are why I smile each day.

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