Have a conversation with me.

Thursday, 6 September 2012

I took to reading blogs when it became hugely popular in the 1990s. I love how snippets of personal experiences and feelings were shared. I enjoyed reading through posts, and figuring out the person behind the online persona. There were those which kept me engaged, and there were those which were mostly a portal to a life filled with fantasy... and those were the ones which amused me for hours on end. Either ways, blogs opened up my eyes to a whole world of different personalities, and taught me a lesson or two in life.

I decided to start blogging in Mummy-mode when my son turned one, and started being lazy to develop his photos and put them in an album. During the first 12 months, I was taking pictures almost religiously, as if somehow afraid that I will forget milestones and gummy grins and heart-felt moments.

I started writing as MummyMOO in February this year, with a post relating how he came into being, what I hope that I would be able to give him, and how my life has changed since he came along. I looked forward to posting more and more things after that, because I needed to immortalise the growing up days, and keep them as wonderful memories. I wanted to, because I don't want to wake up one day and be filled with regrets because I cannot recall the little firsts which make growing up so meaningful.

Apart from that, I felt that I was also sharing resources and reaching out to fellow parents out there, simply because I knew how it was like to practically try deal with a newborn with no prior experience and minimal help. I felt a certain camaraderie with other parents even though we don't know one another personally, and not only is writing simply an opiate for me, it also creates a platform for me to document BabyMoo's growth and developmental milestones. I wanted to share, and I wanted to let others benefit from my words... as much as I have benefited from the many other parents who write about the challenges they face as well. Being a first time parent, I had learnt so much from other Mum-blogs out there and the internet became a soothing presence for frazzled nerves trying to cope with a wailing baby at ungodly hours!

Someone has actually noted that there is a dearth of Dads who blog in parent-mode in Singapore, whereas there are hundreds of 'Mom-blogs' in existence. Basically, I think as women... we tend to worry more. We tend to talk more, and we have a strong tendency to also share day to day events. Back in the days when I remember my Granny always having friends over at the house, Tontine / Tupperware parties were held, and these women will talk and talk over cups of tea and biscuits. The earliest memories I had of my Mum was me running round the garden while she talked and talked to our neighbour over the fence separating our houses.

What did the men do back then?
They meet up for golf. Talk business. Have conversations in 'gentlemen lounges'. Entertain mistresses.
Come home with the bacon. Happy wife, happy home.

"I've tried lye and vinegar, the stubborn poop stains on the muslin cannot be washed off!"
Image credit:  1st Art Gallery

What do the men do now?
They meet up for golf. Talk business. Have conversations at Starbucks and pubs. Change diapers. Feed the kids when the wife is busy. Read to them. Squeeze through tunnels at indoor playgrounds. Bring home half of the bacon. Happy family, happy kids.

No time or extra money to keep a mistress because it goes to pre-school fees and enrichment classes.

BabyMoo at 3 weeks, nestled and asleep on his favourite-est place in the world!

There are similarities, and there are differences.

Men have generally been pretty loath to share about their personal life. Sure... they grouse about the wife, they complain about the increased living expenses, they rant about how work tires them out. They can spend hours and hours with other men talking about Army Days.

That said, most men usually don't like to appear 'weak' or worse, to not be able to control situations. So for them to write on the woes as much as joys of parenting can be a challenge. Women, on the other hand, are more than happy to share and read about both the good and the bad because they can then identify with others, and bond together in the 'Ma-Ma Sisterhood'!

We all grapple with feelings of inadequacy and moments of weaknesses as parents (especially first time ones). Show me a parent who always seem to have everything in control, have all the kids on their best behaviour, perfectly groomed and coiffed - and I'll show you either a fictional character, or someone who lives in Fantasy Island. I'm not saying that they do not exist - rather, parenthood is a transient thing. It's always in a process of change, adaptation, trial and error.

I've always loved to write.

Back in the days when computers were used by huge corporations and only came in bright lime green or white text on a black screen, I used the humble 2B pencil and a jotter pad to pen down my thoughts. I enjoy describing events which transpire in words - it's as though writing it, and then re-reading it, makes it somehow more real. Memories, no matter how precious they are, fade over time, and for me, writing things down immortalises events.

I started this blog because I wanted to contribute as much as I have learnt from the many other Mom blogs out there. I write to keep the memories alive, and I write so that I can share things that may be of benefit to other Mums. 

I didn't want a blog which only shows the narcissistic side of me (I do think that all public bloggers have a streak of narcissism and self love). I don't want a blog which captures only smiles, laughters and positive traits of the boy (because all of us as parents know that those moments are few and far in-between, more than once a day is imaginary). I do not blog because I appear to have too much time (it's all relative)... neither do I post because I simply need to grouse.

I want to have a conversation with each and every single reader. More than just simply relating my experiences, I would like to draw them into my world. It's not always a world filled with rainbows and roses, though. I write about a real existence - where I have had to deal with toddler tantrums, financial constraints, and if I'm doing my best as a Mum. Through blogging, I find that I'm sometimes able to put problems into perspective. Writing calms me, and it eases my often troubled mind.

Oh... and to all the Dads out there - blogging keeps many Mums sane. They do their ramblings online, so chances are, you're spared the full force of the diatribes, rants and complaints when you come home and just want to have dinner and stare at the TV.

It's a win-win situation.

Contributing to:

Join the blog train as it chugs along to Dominique at Dominique's Desk, who will be sharing with you her thoughts on why she blogs!

Dominique Goh, Singaporean elementary school teacher, freelance writer and mom of three who is passionate about parenting and educating kids. In her free time you can see her dabbling in photography, cooking and cake decorating and blogging at Dominique’s Desk


  1. Totally agree with you, blogging keep us sane most of the times :). Although I'm not a great writer but I do find it easier to "pen" down my thoughts in writing. I used to keep a diary when I was young , wonder where that book of my secrets have gone to..haha

    1. Some secrets are best kept that way, Amie... .

      Haha! :)

  2. Like this post. Agree, am always on the iphone reading blogs at ungodly hours while the baby is drifting in and out of sleep. It's part of keeping sane.

    I love babymoo's photo, i have the exact same-pose photo too :)

    1. I try to make him sleep that way now, but he's much too big already!
      Fleeting precious moments :)

  3. Well said mummymoo!! You are so right. Blogging helps calms the mind and we can think through much better after that. Husbands are so spared when they have blogging wives. :p

    1. As an alternative to Mahjong cos I dunno how to play! Haha!!

    2. I forgot how to play!! come let's be jolly just "pong pong pong" all the way lah! :p

  4. ooooh great post! It's amazing that you only started early this year. You're a veteran blogger already! :)

  5. Replies
    1. Thanks, Made!

      Yours was one of the blogs which inspired me to start leh!

  6. Feel like I got to know you so much better just by reading this post :) I have quite a poor memory too and indeed, writing it down immortalises the moments. thanks for sharing your moments with us!

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

  7. Thank you for this post, Regina. I always feel I know you a bit more each time I read your post. Ditto on the win-win situation that you talked about...my hubby recognises that in me too. ;)

  8. I jotted down my thought in a calendar, that was how I started to write. In Chinese, though.

    Love this piece of conversation. Not only I know you more, I learn more from you. I have to read more and write more in English;)!

  9. Nice way of putting it. Absolutely right, blogging calms me down and keeps me sane. =) Look forward to more great posts from you MummyMoo! =)

  10. You really have a knack for putting down words in your blog that I can totally relate to. Not so much a newbie anymore when u are a natural at blogging :)



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